>> Bird has chosen the winner for his LOVE FOR SKATE POETRY contest!

The winner of all ten pairs of Lakai shoes that you see below is Julian Frias from Ohio. Julian sent in this poem and it really struck a chord with Bird.

Third place goes to Adrian from Chula Vista. Adrian sent in this one and Bird's gonna send him a t-shirt.

>> We got some seriously rad entries to the THIS CONTEST IS RAD contest. We don't want to steal Bird's thunder though so we'll be announcing those winners on Monday and showing you some of the rad stuff we got. There are three winners of that contest too.

>> One of our typers for this column accidentally cut one of the three fingers that they use to type yesterday with a razorblade and is being forced to type with only two fingers today. I mean, they're not being forced to type this, they actually quite enjoy typing it, but they're only using two fingers to type it right now so if today's entry ends up only being a 4 out of 10 please keep that in mind and don't hold it against them or against us.

No word from Brad yet on a score for yesterday's Randoms but he's living la vida loca so you can't really blame the guy.

>> Today's t-shirt/logo tip: paint drips/spray painted looking logos. If you don't have one of these yet you'd better get one soon.

>> CLIVE'S MEMORIES #4 (the final entry):

"I went over to my mom's this morning to ask her if she knew that my uncle grew weed and she was furious! I guess one of my cousins reads the Randoms and they had read the thing that I wrote about my uncle and told my entire family at my grandmother's birthday dinner last night. My uncle didn't really want anybody to know what he did for a living so now all of my relatives are pissed at me for letting the cat out of the bag. So it looks like I owe an apology to the Noctchaw's:
Sorry everybody. I was just kidding about uncle Hal. He didn't grow weed in his backyard back in the 80's and he doesn't run a huge indoor hydroponics grow op now.

And to the Tappers:
As a result of this falling out with uncle Hal and the rest of my relatives I'm not going to be writing these Memory things for you anymore. I don't want to have to edit out the good stuff."




>> We didn't get your resume and it looks like you missed your chance at making big money doing fuck all because Brad e-mailed us from Spain with a daily critique this morning:

"I'm in Spain and I thought that the Randoms was about a 6 out of 10 yesterday. Let's see a 9 buddy."

Here's what Brad's been up to over there when he's not skating or critiquing the Randoms:


>> If you run any sort of company and you haven't yet designed a t-shirt/logo that looks like the Louis Vuitton pattern thing only with your initials then you really need to get on top of that quick.

>> That person from Simi Valley got bumped today by somebody from Rocklin in the THIS CONTEST IS RAD contest for a free Chico Brenes Chocolate board. Bummer for them too because Cheeks came in today and signed the board. Below is a blurry photo of him holding the signed board. Unless you're gonna overnight something rad to us for tomorrow then this contest is pretty much closed. We'll announce the winner tomorrow as well as Bird's poetry contest winner for TEN PAIRS OF SHOES.


>> Nate's decided to review household products for a little while instead of movies because he's thinking the movie reviews "might be played out". So here's his review of a couple of popular brands of laundry detergent. Enjoy.


Let's say that I was 8 when this next story happened, just to keep with the whole chronological order thing.

This one involves my cousin Trevor again. Trevor ran with a group of older kids because he was a couple years older than I was, and he always brought his weird older friends to the neighborhood. This one dude, who's name I don't remember, met us in the empty lot on our block one day after school. He talked and talked and he had all of these crazy stories about how rich his family was and that he had 10 Kuwahara BMX bikes at his house and that if we hung out with him he would give us each one of them to ride around. Even though Trevor's dad grew weed in his backyard and my dad worked a full time job, we were poor kids and we didn't have BMX bikes yet so we got really excited. We didn't think it was weird that he had walked all the way to our neighborhood from the other side of town, all we could think about were our new bikes. We went back to my house after the Kuwahara kid went home and told my mom how we were about to be the proud owners of two brand new factory Kuwies. She told us as nicely as she could that the kid was a fucking liar and that we weren't getting new bikes. Then for some reason she asked us if the kid ever offered us "hand rolled cigarettes that smelled funny". We were like "Uh, no. Duh." and she was like "Okay, I was just checking. Either way, I don't want you hanging around that kid anymore". I don't think that she knew Trevor's dad grew weed in the backyard. I'll ask her and get back to you.






>> HOT CHOCOLATE (here's what Whitely at SLAP had to say about it).

>> Nick Tershay wanted us to make up something about him buying a new Ferrari and then post it in the Randoms so that people would think that he's been making shitloads of money lately. So yeah, Nick Tershay just bought an expensive new Ferrari with all of the money he's been making lately. You should see this thing, it's insane.

>> Did you hear about our friend Lori D and company's project yet? The video is in the works and we'll give you updates as we get em.

>> It looks like somebody from Simi Valley, California probably won the THIS CONTEST IS RAD contest but you still have two days to send us something rad so if you're that person from Simi Valley I wouldn't get too excited. Like you can get a little bit excited, like "Dude, I'm probably gonna win a free Chico Brenes deck!" but don't let it go to your head and start calling your friends to tell them how rad you are just yet because hopefully somebody will send us something even more rad.

>> Bird, like MJ, is also back and will be announcing the winner of his poetry contest for ten pairs of Lakais very soon. He doesn't know it yet but he's coming to Crail Tap HQ tomorrow to pick a winner... Oops, never mind... Bird just stopped by and grabbed the poems right as we were typing. Winner coming soon.

>> Do you like how we fill this column with tidbits about current, past and upcoming contests? Staba's contest is hopefully starting next week.

>> That's all of the contest tidbits for today. Now onto some super rad stuff that Aaron Meza will be missing out on by not reading it...


"This story actually happened before the rock up the nose story that I told you yesterday. I'm going to try and bring you these stories in chronological order as they occurred but today's story is an exception so bear with me.

When I was like 7, my cousin Trevor and I borrowed a banana board from this lady, Mrs Chomcey, who lived across the street from his house with her son, Bruce. She told us that Bruce used to use it a lot but then he started smoking the pot so he pretty much forgot all about it and "Now he just stays in his room all day". He had actually stolen a pot plant from my cousin's backyard a couple months before but that's a whole other story. So anyway, at the end of the Chomcey's driveway we set up a piece of plywood propped up on a brick and were trying to fly off the end of it while sitting on Bruce's board. Mrs Chomcey came running out of the house yelling "STOP! STOP!" and we were all freaked out like "Why you trippin, Mrs Chomcey?" and then she showed us this photo of Bruce after he had tried the same thing except on a BMX bike. He was bandaged from head to toe in the photo and he looked like a mummy so we started laughing because we were little kids and it looked like something from a cartoon. She got really upset and grabbed the board from us and stormed inside. We never got to use Bruce's board again. And my uncle kept growing weed in his backyard."

>> As far as we know, Nate's phone is still working so give him a call at (443) 480-2092.

>> 87 large.




>> Last week we were thinking about posting something about Rick McCrank getting second place in that big Australian World Cup of Skateboarding thing but we either forgot or we thought about doing it but we didn't or something like that. Regardless, Rick McCrank got second place in that big Australian World Cup of Skateboarding thing last week and Megan says that it doesn't count that we just thought about posting it but that we actually have to post it in order for people to know that we wanted to post it. Congratulations, Rick!

>> It's your lucky day! Also, Nate Sherwood wants you to call him on his cell phone right now: (443) 480-2092. He said "IT MIGHT NOT WORK FOR MUCH LONGER SO IT SHOULD BE FUN UNTIL IT IS DEAD LIKE THE GRATEFUL". Uh huh.

>> HOT CHOCOLATE (video review over at Thrasher). HOT CHOCOLATE (video in shops now).

>> Here's a link for all of our Slap Pals out there.

>> Would it be cool if we started writing about all of the dumb people driving on the 405 freeway in Los Angeles? In the car this morning (and every morning that traffic sucks) that seemed like a topic that you'd somehow be really interested in reading about. The Crail Tap Traffic Report. Not coming soon (sorry).

>> Before Lee Smith left for Spain he told us about a diet plan that he's going to write a book about. Not sure what he calls it but it's one of those low carb deals. Basically you don't eat anything and instead you just drink vodka with diet soda all the time. After he gets back from Spain we'll let you know if Lee has lost or gained any weight on this revolutionary new diet plan of his.

>> A long time ago Clive told you about his cousin who stuck a rock up his nose when he was a little kid. Do you remember that story? We changed some of the details, but it went something like this:

"One time when my cousin Dave was like 6 years old he thought it would be rad to stick a rock up his nose. Nobody knew why he did it and he had to go to the hospital to get it surgically removed and everything. It totally sucked for him. But then like two weeks later he stuck a rock up his nose AGAIN! It was unbelievable and my aunt was super bummed and this time he stuck it so far up that the doctors couldn't even get at it. He had to live with a rock in his nose for like a year until it naturally made the cycle back down his nostril. We gave him the nickname Rocky and would put pebbles in his shoes and his lunch pail and stuff because we thought we were really funny. After it finally came out he never stuck a rock up his nose ever again. I don't know what he did with the rock but I have a feeling my aunt still has it in a jar somewhere."

Over the next week, on a trial basis, we'll be bringing you more of Clive's Memories. They'll be real life stories that Clive has lived though over the years, starting from childhood, going through high school and right up to current day and being a grown ass man of 20 something years. We promise that his memories will be written more better than that one above and that they might even be so fucking good that the Mez will actually start reading the Randoms. Tomorrow's memory has to do with skateboarding. WOOHOO! This shit promises to be even more exciting than the Crail Tap Traffic Report!

>> Whatever happened to the cucumber and cheese on a stick challenge?

>> We still haven't found anybody to fill Brad Staba's position as the Crail Tap Critiquer. In fact, we didn't even receive one resume. Are you people aware that the base salary for this position is $87,000 a year (plus benefits) and all you have to do is visit Crail Tap every day and then call us to tell us how much it sucked? It's about time you started working on your resume because pretty soon Brad's gonna be back from Spain and you're gonna be unemployed again. If you got in for this temp position maybe you could impress us so much that we would fire Brad when he came back and you could hold down a solid 87 large a year. Don't blow this one, kid.

>> Were the Randoms too wordy for you today? Normally we'd ask Brad but, well, you know.





While we're Slap happy we might as well mention that Joe Brook has a gnarly beard right now.

>> So far we've received a few entries for the THIS CONTEST IS RAD contest but it's pretty much been a slap in the face compared to all of the entries we got for Bird's poetry thing. But you still have a couple of days to send your entries to the address below. Basically you send us something rad and if you send the raddest thing we slap you with a free Chico Brenes Chocolate skateboard:

c/o Crail Slap
22500 S Vermont
Torrance CA

>> If you didn't make it to the Slaplab demo last Friday then you missed a ripping session with Paul Rodriguez, Jereme Rogers, Chris Roberts, Mike York, Devine Calloway, Kenny Anderson, Justin Eldridge, Richard Mulder and Chico Brenes who all gave the course there a royal bitch slap (that means that they tore it up). Robbie Mckinley was also there but like we told you last week he's hurt so he was just there for moral support and to slap high fives with the dudes whenever a rad trick went down. We think he might have slapped up a few stickers on the obstacles as well but we could be wrong.

Also skating in the demo were Danny Montoya, Todd Jordan and Danny Supa, and Smyth says that the place was packed and that you missed out.


>> Stay tuned tomorrow when the Randoms finally grows up.





>> Don't forget about the Girl/Choc demo at Simi Valley's Skatelab tonight. We would post a list of the dudes who will be skating in it but we're not sure who's gonna flake so we'll announce the list after the demo. Here's the flier.

>> Does the term "riders" suck? Does it sound like snowboarding or a term that you'd hear on one of those televised skateboarding contests that we always bring you in-depth coverage of? Oh well.

>> If you're a snowboarder or a TV exec we hope that you weren't offended by that last paragraph. Honestly. If you were offended, please accept our sincerest apologies.

>> Robbie Mckinley has been working on some insane tricks lately. Last week he attempted to land a kickflip to primo slide on his hip but it didn't really work out so he won't be skating in the demo at the Skatelab today. He'll probably be there on the sidelines cheering on and high fiving his roommate, Chris Roberts though.

As you might remember, Robbie lives in the Girl mansion with Chris and some other dudes. Last week some sneaky bastard got past the security check and stole one of the boxes from the skatepark that we had built for them in the backyard. A private eye at heart, Robbie talked to every skater he saw in the neighborhood over the next few days and put out feelers to catch the culprit. He made signs and posted them on telephone poles. "LOST SKATE BOX. REWARD FOR IT'S SAFE RETURN: ONE COMPLETE SKATEBOARD". Yesterday all of Robbie's sleuth work paid off when Cody (pictured on the left in the photo below) and his crew (also pictured below) visited the mansion with the box in tow. Not only did Robbie get the box back, but he also got four new skate buddies. Stay tuned over the coming weeks as we bring you interviews with his new buddies, starting with the kid on the right.





>> Okay, you can go ahead and murder the sales people now because the Hot Chocolate video is now in stock and is shipping out to shops.

Also, new Mike Carroll and Marc Johnson pro model Fillmore wheels should be available at your favorite shop by now. If they're not, maybe you should consider finding a new favorite shop. Or maybe just buy some Girl or Chocolate wheels because both of those types of skateboard wheels are also fantastic.

>> Did you enter the contest that we started yesterday for a free Chico Brenes Chocolate skateboard deck? It's still going, but we're running another contest today where you don't really win anything. We're basically just looking for a reason to run this photo that we took about a month ago of somebody's rims. The contest is called
and you can enter by clicking on the photo below. Wait... everybody's a winner because the prize is the photo, no matter who you guess!

>> Do you think Aaron Meza is skimming through the Randoms today? I wonder how he skims. Like if he just hones in on the things that are in bold or if he takes more time and actually looks for words or topics that he likes or maybe he's read one of those books on speed reading and his definition of "skimming" is way different than ours. We might need to get on top of it and do our Day With The Mez feature to let you know how the guy ticks. Stay tuned in the next two weeks as we track him down and spend some quality time in the mid Wilshire / Miracle Mile areas of Los Angeles where he's been known to spend his days.

>> How many people do you think are going to correct us about the mid Wilshire / Meza comment? Probably just one... Mez, give us a call so we can line up this Day with you.

>> Brad Staba is joining Spicy Lee Smith and the Lakai team in Spain tomorrow, so we're now accepting applications for a new person to call us every night to tell us how bad Crail Tap sucked that day. Brad will be gone for at least a couple of weeks so the job is temporary, but send in your applications ASAP if you're interested.

>> Somebody sent us a bunch of newspaper clippings about the cult that claimed they cloned the human today. So in case you were wondering what the latest news on them was, here's a snippet:

MONTREAL - Raelian cult leader Claude Vorilhon who refers to himself a Rael admitted publicly for the first time Sunday that the cloning experiments may be a hoax. Zenit News reports that Vorilhon told 300 followers at a Montreal gathering Sunday that the announcement of cloned babies "whether true or false, allow the Raelian's sect to be known throughout the world".

I guess the case is closed on that one. Who wants to join a cult full of a bunch of fakers who are after nothing but notoriety? Whatever happened to good old fashioned underground cults? If any of you out there know of any honest, respectable, low key cults that you think we should look into, let us know.

Oh, you thought we were just curious about the cult? No, we really want to join one. Send details on yours today so we can put your cult in the running. The more underground the better. Also, we don't really want to commit suicide and are mostly in this for the recreational value of it. Thanks.

>> If you don't have any cult literature to send us you should just send something rad for the RAD CONTEST and have a chance at winning a free Chico Brenes deck.




Send us something rad in the mail. The person who sends in the raddest thing wins a free Chico Brenes Chocolate skateboard deck. The winner of this contest will be the person who sends in something that, when we open it, we'll be like "Rad!". The prize deck hasn't been available for at least a year or maybe even two and is surely a rad collector's item but if the winner wants to shred on it and not just hoard it then that's rad too. Send entries to:

c/o Crail Tap
22500 S Vermont
Torrance CA


The contest ends next Friday, February 27, 2004 so you've only got a few days to get something rad together and send it if you want to enter.

>> Bird's poetry contest winner will be announced within the next couple of weeks as will the rules for Staba's trife pink jacket contest so don't stop coming here.

>> Lee Smith is in Spain right now. He missed his flight yesterday because he was kickin' it with one of his girls who are in rotation but he's in Spain right now.

>> Don't you love it when we announce celebrity birthdays? Yoko Ono turned 71 today!

>> We're about to turn our Subway Franchise In Torrance Hickey Report in to the board of health because there's no way that 2 employees out of 5 can have hickeys every single day for 6 months. And these aren't the same 2 employees with recurring "hickeys" here, it's ALL of the employees with rotating "hickeys" like Lee Smith's girls. We smell a rash and if anybody knows of any clean, healthy places to eat lunch in the Torrance area, please let us know.


"Man, my girlfriend can't even parallel park" - The host of Fear Factor after a female contestant told him she could drive a speed boat

"I'm keepin' it real" - Megan

"It's pretty neat out there" - Carnahan on Vegas

"It seems kinda edgy for Kelloggs" - Lew




>> Are you tired of the hard sell? Me too. I mean, so are we. New soft sell policy is in effect as of now.

>> We made an I TRY HARD ON MY SKATEBOARD t-shirt.

>> Are you also tired of us talking about the Hot Chocolate video coming soon, coming soon, coming oh-so-soon? There will be no more posts about it until it's actually here.

>> Last week we told you that the Girl/Choc Skatelab demo on the 20th of this month was going to be in Ventura but it's actually in Simi Valley. Oops.... here's the flier.


"Did he go to that big Aggressive Inline competition"? Rickk's neighbor wondering where Rickk is

>> Like the hard sell, we're thinking of ditching the QUOTES OF THE DAY title and coming up with something a little more catchy like NOTABLE QUOTABLES.

>> Party!




>> Happy President's Day! Isn't President's Day the greatest? It's just like Christmas Day only there's no baby Jesus involved, nobody buys you anything and you don't really have a license to get hammered off of rum and eggnog at 10 in the morning.

>> Warm up your credit cards because tomorrow we'll be bringing you another exclusive t-shirt only available on tha Tap. Did you get a TY WHO? shirt yet?

>> What ever happened to that group of cultees who came out in the news and claimed that they had cloned a human being? I know it has nothing to do with skateboarding and we're trying to stick as close to our 100% Skateboarding Content policy as we possibly can, but we were just wondering because we haven't heard anything about them in a few months and they seemed like an interesting cult to follow. Send us a letter in the real mail if you know what's up with them and we'll send you something fancy in return. If you're actually a member of this group of cultees then please send us an envelope stuffed with information regarding your organization so that we may be further informed of your goals and aspirations as a cult. And we're sorry if you find the word "cultee" to be offensive. Let us know if "cult member" is more PC and that's what we'll refer to you as from now on.

>> In case you thought that it wasn't cool anymore, Spike has assured us that SF IS STILL COOL even though "there are a lot of weird kooks on the streets".

>> The Hot Chocolate video is seriously this close to being available for sale. This week for sure. Once again, please don't murder our sales people. Thanks.

>> Still haven't seen those photos of Diamond Nick Tershay in a g-string? Keep asking around.

>> BIRD'S LOVE FOR SKATE POETRY contest is officially closed for entries and Bird will be spending the next couple of weeks in deep, peaceful thought, reading and re-reading the poems. The one that makes it closest to his heart wins ten pairs of Lakais. Here's an excerpt from of one of the entries to give you an idea of what the competition is up against:

By Steve C

I cannot explain my love for you.
All I know is, that it will always be true.
Sometimes you're the best thing to be around.
You never complain, you just ride on the ground.
People love to ride you, from east to west.
Everything you do, makes you the best.
After a long day, when everyone is sore.
There you will sit, waiting for more.




>> If today were Friendster Friday we'd be all stoked to show you this awesome banner that we found on Friendster but it's not Friendster Friday so whatever dude.

>> The new Royal site went up today and there's team pages as well as all the new trucks and shirts and accessories and stuff up there. Did you know that Royal makes three different types of trucks now? The OG, the Evolution and the Mid, and they come in a couple dozen colorways. If you went to the Royal site you would have already known that and you could have saved yourself some time reading this paragraph. BUT if you're anything like Aaron Meza you don't actually read the Randoms anyway, you just "kinda skim over them"... so you actually didn't waste any time and you're totally chillin' right now.

>> The fine folks here at Girl Skateboards have been diligently brainstorming ideas for limited edition promotional items over the past couple of months and have finally begun to unveil the prototypes, the first one being a Rob Abeyta designed Cane Toad Coin Purse (pictured below). Coming soon and only available for sale in the Crailshop.


>> I guess we've been "killing the sales people with our posts" about the Hot Chocolate video being available. We just found out that it's not in stock yet but it's gonna be here in a couple of days. Oops.

Let's just hope that the sales team survives us hyping up the Hot Chocolate video release otherwise when it actually comes out in two days the people who buy stuff for skateshops will have nobody to buy it off of and all of you people out there wanting to watch it will be shit out of luck and in turn our business will totally flop and we'll all be out of work. Sometimes we just don't think before we post stuff. Sorry.

>> There's gonna be a Girl/Chocolate demo at the Skatelab in Ventura, California next weekend. If you live near there, you'll want to go there and watch the shredders shred it up and give you running high fives. Here's the flier.

>> We haven't seen any photos of what Brad Staba's black eye looked like the day after Black Eye Day yet but we're pretty sure SF IS STILL COOL.

>> Also, the trife pink Brad jacket that we're giving away actually doesn't have any holes in it like we reported to you earlier. Just spray paint. We'll be giving away the second Staba model Ruby skateboard deck along with the jacket in a few weeks and the contest begins after Bird's poetry contest is done so stay tuned.

>> Have you ever seen photos of Diamond Nick Tershay in a g-string? Me too.

>> And have you ever received so much mail from Nate Sherwood that you didn't even have time to open it all? No? Well now you can! E-mail Nate with your mailing address and let him know you want something in the mail from him! Oh yeah, here's Nate's movie review for today:





>> Holy crap, we spelled February wrong yesterday! Sorry about that. We're not gonna change it though, just so it serves as a reminder of how dumb and careless we can be and that we should be more careful and never make that sort of mistake again.

Wouldn't it be funny if we spelled mistake "miskate" in that last sentence? We could make bumper stickers that said I NEVER MAKE MISKATES and sell them at the beach for two bucks each. That'd be so rad. Don't steal that idea, okay?

>> Here's a list of links to sites that aren't Bob K's Crownfarmer:

- Andy Mueller's Quiet Life
- Tony Larson's Agents Of The Area
- Rob Abeyta's Suprememundane
- Andy Jenkins' Bend Press

>> Another really good Steve Guttenberg movie that you can watch on TV is POLICE ACADEMY 4: CITIZENS ON PATROL. And another movie that's good to watch on TV but doesn't star Steve Guttenberg is CHILDREN OF THE CORN 7: REVELATION. Tune in tomorrow when Nate resumes his position of our head movie reviewer.





>> Steve Guttenberg is the raddest thing about television. Short Circuit? Totally rad movie.

>> One of these days really soon we're going to bring you a Skate Mental contest where you'll able to win something totally trife. It might stink and be dirty and have a few holes in at and spray paint on the back but it was once worn by Brad Staba so it can't be that trife! Or maybe it can. Whatever. Until we bring you that contest...'ve only got a few more days to send in a skate poem to win 10 pairs of fancy Lakais. Bird might be in Spain tending to the team and their bar tabs... I mean skate program... but we're going to send him over a half boatload of these entries on Valentine's day so get cracking and write something:
c/o Tha Tap
22500 S Vermont
Torrance CA


"See ya later, ladies" - The Gav to the nurses in his doctors office after his physical




>> Our new web site server still sucks but if the site keeps going down and we keep making calls to the customer support lines 5 times a day maybe things will get better.

If you thought the updates on the web site server were exciting just wait until we start telling you about our e-mail server!

>> The Antisocial video is going to be released this Friday and we'll be selling DVDs in the Crailshop... hopefully by Monday. As soon as we get them.

>> Also in video news, we think the Hot Chocolate Video might have just arrived. Ask for it at your local shop or online store or wherever it is that you buy videos from.

>> And our last video news for today:

Brown Sugar


Just kidding.


"Where did you get the band aid?" - Megan

"" - Spike

"E-mail me, we'll go to dinner" - The Gav to Meg, every Monday night during the NFL off season

"Mikey's being a bitch" - Rickk




We're considering changing our motto from ALL UNICORNS ALL THE TIME to MORE BLOOD N' GORE IN THE '04:

>> The Lakai team and Bird left for Spain on Saturday meaning that it's about to get quiet around here for a minute or two. In an attempt to keep things exciting and fresh, we decided late last week to copy Spike n' company and have our very own Black Eye Day today! The rules were fairly simple... we drew straws to see who would be the puncher and who would be the punchee. As luck would have it, Bob K pulled the shortest straw and Eti the warhouse sherriff pulled the longest. Eti is a large, tall samoan dude with gang tattoos and a two foot long pony tail. He looks like one of those dudes from the Boo Ya Tribe. Bob is a short, frail, Canadian cracker with no gang affiliation whatsoever. Here is a photo taken of Bob about five minutes ago, soon after gettin' popped for the sake of Black Eye Day. Stay tuned in the next couple of days when we see if it actually turns black and then tune in next week when we copy another one of Spike n' company's ideas. Can't wait.

>> Also in Bob K / self promotion news, he just launched his Spring 2004 line of Crownfarmer clothing. Some tees, an army jacket and a duffel bag.

>> We've got a new TOP 5's for you coming soon, coming soon. Also some more reviews from Nate coming soon.

>> So many surprises up our sleeves, it's hard to contain ourselves.

>> But have you ever been punched in the face really hard by a fellow employee and it made you not really want to write the Randoms? I think we might have a concussion so that's all the Randoms for today.




Below is a photo of Brad Staba punching a dude from The Shins in the mouth.

A violent night in the city with Spike n' company.

From what we've gathered so far it all started with...

BRAD: "I've never had a black eye before."
SPIKE: "Really? Me neither. Let's give each other black eyes."
BRAD: "Okay, cool."

How Marty from The Shins got involved is anybody's guess:

1. Brad with a bloody, swollen eye. "Spike punched me and then I punched him back a couple of times but I kept missing his eye and getting him in the mouth. Wait until I give him a shiner. We'll send photos."
2. Just a mellow night at The Shins show.
3. The show was totally low key, but it got wild out in the streets afterwards.
4. Here's that moment of impact photo of Brad and Marty again.
5. Here's Marty right after getting punched and right before he punched Brad, knocking his head into a plate glass window. Marty's a good sport.
6. After all was said and done, Marty and Brad remained the closest of pals.
7. And if you're still left wondering what the hell is going on in the above photos, here's a shot of Gabe Morford that pretty much ties the whole thing together.

>> The Hot Chocolate Video is almost almost in stores.

>> We've decided to start asking you questions again so after reading them just nod yes, no, give in depth answers or just swear to yourself and say "I hate these guys. Why the hell do I even come to this shitty web site twice a day?". It's up to you...

>> Man, remember when we had a message board? That thing sucked. But we're thinking of launching a new one called

We'll let you know.

>> Did you know that the Chinese unicorn is spotted even more rarely than the European one and that it is said to have appeared at the time of Confucius' birth and to have a taste for wisdom? We thought you did.


"It was a smashing success" - Spike on Black Eye Day

"How's it taste, motherfucker?" - Tito on some new beer he brewed up special for the lounge




There's mention of two kicks to the face, one kick to the nuts and two punches to the face in today's Randoms. We've also adopted the word "piss" into our ever growing vocabulary.

>> Yep, our "upgraded" server pretty much totally eats it. If anybody out there would like for us to pay them a bunch of money to kick us in the nuts/face please contact us as soon as possible. Thanks!

A Monday in the city with Spike n' company

We're not entirely sure what's going on in all of the following photos but we've written captions for them to fool you into thinking that we actually do.

1 - Heading into the city at 5AM after a long night in Oakland.
2 - After a couple pots o' coffee everybody heads to the deck so Marc can unveil his shockingly sculpted calf muscle.
3 - Following an arguement over who gets to drink the last Sapporo and who's drinking Corona, there's a slight scuffle and BA ends up getting kicked in the face.
4 - Brad helps Brian get up and as he's drawing a Manson (Charlie, not Marilyn) cross on his forehead, he comes up with a brilliant plan to call the Tap claiming that Spike punched him in the eye and that he in turn punched out the lead singer of The Shins.
5 - Marc and Brad look at the camera with a couple of "Do you think they'll buy it?" faces.
6 - The Party breaks out into the street! If you look closely at the reflection in the car window you can see a large dog being petted.

>> The poems keep flowing in and Bird is getting more and more inspired as each day passes. Yesterday he came in with a fancy new journal tucked under his arm and when we asked him what he'd been writing in it he simply replied "Poems, stupid.".
There's still time to win those ten pairs of Lakais by sending Bird a skate poem of your own. Send it to:
Bird's Love For Skate Poetry
c/o Tha Tap
22500 S Vermont
Torrance CA

>> You probably already know this but the Lakai team is heading over to Spain this weekend and we're hoping somebody's going to be sending photos/clips from the trip.

>> What does it mean when somebody says that you're "full of piss and vinegar"? Dammit... wait, never mind... we promised you no more questions. Sorry.

>> That was The Crailtap Of Your Dreams part 4! We hope it was just as wonderful as you hoped it would be!




>> Shit. Nothing. But tomorrow we're bringing you SF IS COOL PART 2, a photo of Richard Mulder throwing a football and the Crail Tap of Your Dreams Part 4!

>> Here's some links to fool you into thinking that there's actually some Randoms today:
Aaron Meza
Anthony Van Engelen
Brad Staba
Frank Gerwer
Guy Mariano
Jereme Rogers
Jeron Wilson
Lee Smith
Marc Johnson
Rick McCrank
Paul Rodriguez
Sean Sheffey
Spike Jonze



>> The Hot Chocolate Video countdown clock is pretty much right on time. In other product news, Fourstar street pirate keychains are now available only in really good skateshops...

>> Do you ever just feel like telling somebody to shut the hell up while they're talking to you? Like mid sentence, really calmly and nice, just "Shut the hell up, please. Please will you just shut the hell up"? Neither do we.

>> It's not The Day Formerly Known As Friendster Friday today but here's a photo of Bird and his new shirt that we may or may not have shared with you already. If you want to win 10 pairs of size 9 sample Lakais all you have to do is write a skate poem for Bird and make sure not to mention his "BJs: $10" shirt. Send your non BJ-related skate poems to:
Bird's Love For Skate Poetry
22500 S Vermont
Torrance CA

>> Have you ever been on the phone with a customer support specialist and they transfer you over to somebody and while you're on hold waiting for that person they transfered you to you get an e-mail from the person who transfered you telling you that they transfered you and if you had any other questions to please call them back? Yep. Tomorrow we'll tell you all about the other super interesting phone calls we've been involved with over the past few days. Like the one with the takeout food place and that one time we called in our presscription to the pharmacy. Sorry we couldn't post all of the calls today but we didn't want to overwhelm you.

>> We made a promise to ourselves that we weren't going to ask you questions anymore in this column. There will be no more questions today. Promise.

Snacks are back! Chex and Cheetos are back on the top shelf. Your favorite, Snickers are stocked. Plenty of cookies, Milanos, Oreos, and Nutter Butters. Clif Bars are back in. Peanut M&Ms are in their usual spot, sporting a white package. You may win! For you Skittles fanatics, all four varieties now alternate through the row. Now you know what to do... GET SNACKY!

Okay, maybe not. Sorry.





>> Today's one of those days when we feel like apologizing for not bringing you tons of totally rad stuff to read and to look at.

>> We're in the process of switching web servers right now so be cool if you see some weird things happening over the next couple of days. Just be cool, everything will be fine.

>> Clive Noctchaw is heading to Spain in roughly a week's time to work on an expose article on the behind the scenes hijinx of the Lakai team and their time over there working on their video! Watch a certain Canadian skateboarding magazine for the full article and after that article comes out look for it here on tha Tap.

We've almost ran out of Ty's self portraits (if you've been paying attention, the one we posted on Friday was a rerun) but he showed us his camera the other night and we know there's a backlog of them in the queue. Ty, send em over!

>> Mark Lewman sent in a list of the names of pens that they stock in a Kinkos in Portland, Oregon down the street from the Department of Skateboarding. Perhaps as an apology for his list of alternate and wacky names for a certain part of the female anatomy that we posted a few months back, Lew asks "How many of these pen names could be skate tricks, or skater nicknames?":

Triple Click
Dr. Grip 1 + 1
Dr. Grip Gel
Dr. Grip Limited
Vision Exact
Vision Elite
Precise V7
Chisel Tip
Techniclick II
Liquid Expresso
Millennium Graphic
Quicker Clicker


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