Sep 3, 2015 10am
Mini Top 5 (trad.) with Jerry Hsu


Top 5 things about riding for Maple
1. MJ surprised me with my first package at my house after school
2. The Donger reading his poetry to kids at demos
3. TM Ed Dominick, convinced my parents to let me go on a cross country US tour at fifteen and assured them I would be protected. Strippers and beer in the room on day one
4. They asked me to call Mark Appleyard to try and get him on one time. I did, it was really really awkward
5. Turned me pro

Top 5 things about riding for enjoi
1. Probably helped a few skaters come out of the closet
2. Getting banned from Thrasher for like a week because of the Jake Phelps ad
3. No skateboarding in the ads
4. Great friends
5. Have you ever seen a Rodney Mullen flat ground demo?

Top 5 things about riding for Chocolate
1. The Rickk and Carroll group text
2. Chico finally gets to be teammates with me
3. Making Ben Colen chase me all over town to get a product shot of me
4. MJ, you can’t get rid of me no matter how far you run
5. Not all Asian themed graphics go to Kenny by default

Top 5 things about being married
1. always someone there to correct me when I’ve made a mistake
2. I do the dishes, put them away and then feel like I deserve a compliment
3. My wife is Canadian and Whenever America fucks up somehow she turns to me and goes ‘see told ya’
4. She is hilarious
5. Can’t imagine not being with her

Top 5 reasons to go blonde
1. I feel prettier
2. I feel 31 again
3. It’s summer!
4. I’m pretty smart for a blonde
5. Trying to get my wife’s attention

Top 5 sci-fi movies
1. Blade Runner
2. Videodrome
3. Alien
4. Ex Machina
5. Brazil

Top 5 things to do with Spanky
1. Skate
2. Chaperones dates with me and my wife
3. He sews my clothes
4. Eat healthy cuz I don’t on my own
5. Order pizza to skate spots

Top 5 ways to spend a fiver
1. A not-house-coffee
2. Sour gummy life savers and chips
3. Beers on planes used to be free
4. Tiny bottle of Advil
5. Everything costs more than five bucks now

Top 5 themes for making a DJ flier for the Blackouts
1. Excessive drinking
2. Animals acting like humans
3. 80’s pop culture
4. Have I used those white dread twins from the Matrix yet?
5. Ako once denied a good one because it had Hitler in it

Top 5 things about The Storm era
1. Josh Kasper bringing 2 giant suitcases on tour filled with tennis rackets and lotion
2. Going on skate tours with a rap group from San Diego
3. White/baby blue D3’s indirectly help me put a down payment on a house
4. G-bags and S.A.G. (Smolik Athletic Gear)
5. I set off the fire alarm at a hotel in Berlin and the whole hotel evacuated. I was never reprimanded

Top 5 things about having a silent “H” in your name
1. Jerry Hush
2. Jerry Hoosoo
3. Jerry Hasoo
4. Jerry Shu
5. Jerry Hzzz

Top 5 things that might indicate that you’re a nerd
1. Star Wars expanded universe
2. MST3k
3. I say things like ‘ontological paradox’ and everyone laughs but not because it’s funny
4. I love Director commentaries on DVD special features
5. I wear glasses

Top 5 things about Marc Johnson
1. Of all my friends I have the most nude photos of Marc
2. He loves to read
3. Watching 411’s on mushrooms and laughing uncontrollably
4. The most gifted and hard working skateboarder I have ever seen
5. Always helped me when I needed it

Top 5 things about being internet famous
1. People taking that name literally is pretty weird
2. People compliment and insult you simultaneously all the time
3. Thoroughly mentally preparing myself for comments before every post
4. I never post videos of me skating so kids basically think I’m lazy or dead
5. When I first got on Instagram, Carroll asked me what my handle was and i said ‘internetfamous’ he rolled his eyes because he didn’t wanna type it all out

Top 5 most unnecessary remakes of ‘80s movie classics
1. Total Recall
2. Robocop
3. The Karate Kid
4. Conan the Barbarian
5. Clash of the Titans

Top 5 things your mother taught you
1. Appreciate what you have
2. Parents talk shit to your face and compliment you behind your back
3. What it feels like to be caught masturbating by your mom (to a magazine!)
4. Parents don’t know how to be parents they’re just trying their best (hopefully)
5. Unconditional love

Top 5 Jerrys
1. Jerri Blank
2. Jerry Springer
3. Jerry O’connell (only in Stand By Me)
4. That Jerry on parks and rec that everyone hates
5. Seinfeld

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